A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

27 January 2009

This Sort of Thing Must Be Stopped!

I know you'd hardly expect me to complain about political correctness run amok. But the East Sussex council of Lewes has gone too far:
Several months ago, Lewes District Council in East Sussex tried to address the problem of inadvertent place-name titillation by saying that “street names which could give offense” would no longer be allowed on new roads.

“Avoid aesthetically unsuitable names,” like Gaswork Road, the council decreed. Also, avoid “names capable of deliberate misinterpretation,” like Hoare Road, Typple Avenue, Quare Street and Corfe Close.

(What is wrong with Corfe Close, you might ask? The guidelines mention the hypothetical residents of No. 4, with their unfortunate hypothetical address, “4 Corfe Close.” To find the naughty meaning, you have to repeat the first two words rapidly many times, preferably in the presence of your fifth-grade classmates.)
All free speech proponents should speak up to defend the right of Britons to name places such as "Butt Hole Road".

Canadians should beware: It is not long ago that someone suggested the scenic and thriving towns of Dildo, Newfoundland and Shag Harbour, Nova Scotia, should vanish from Canadian maps.

Aussies also must be on their guard against this sort of thing. I used to have a picture of a friend, a black friend, standing by a sign on Fraser Island that read: "Black Butt Forest". Need I draw you a picture? The original has been lost, alas, to posterity.

Town councils should be prevented from preventing this sort of harmless fun.

"I do have a cause though. It is obscenity.
--I'm for it."
--Tom Lehrer

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At 1:40 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Metro-Man

It looks like the Feds are going to let the unemployed collect UI for 2 effin years! I expect one novel, two plays, and a coffee table book of not-gay poetry by this time 2011, you effin bastard!

Yours in full jazz mode,


At 2:06 p.m., Blogger Philipa said...

There is an upper, middle and lower wallop in Hampshire, I think. Also an upper and Lower Slaughter in the cotswolds. Bishops Itchington isn't far from wyre Piddle and North Piddle but quite a ways from Crackpot in Yorkshire.

At 8:07 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Around here we just trip over Native American words like Stillaquamish and Skykomish. Who knows what they mean. The Native Americans are probably laughing their asses off at how they got us to name something "Bare Butt".

At 12:13 a.m., Anonymous G Eagle Esq said...

Confounded Southerners

Sussex Folk can't speak English proper

Paarth !!




- and they seem to be learning their pronounciation skills from watching EastEnders

Even Young Ladies resident in Kent may not be immune from such Horrors

AND Italians (or is it Romanians) seem to be taking over your WV

wv = praciva

At 3:48 a.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

The spouse had ancestors living in North Piddle - - -

At 4:59 a.m., Anonymous G Eagle Esq said...


No wonder they had to emigrate to a Place where they could naturally stand upside down

wv = conat

Is that Latin for he defrauds ?

At 12:31 p.m., Blogger Philipa said...

"The spouse" - how romantic.


At 12:44 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

In that case I have only one thing to say:
"Careful With That Axe, Eugene."

We have nearby the Strait of Juan Da Fuca. We also have a Juan De Fuca (wan da fyou-cah) college, which was recently given university accreditation status, resulting in T-shirts merrily reading "Juan Da Fuca U".

Of course the famous example is "kangaroo"--meaning "I don't know" According to legend, someone pointed to this leaping biped and demanded of a local native (presumably by dint of the time-honoured method of speaking slowly) "What is that?"

Terry Pratchett posits a mountain called "Your finger you fool" in one of his books for similar reasons. And there are many rivers/mountains called "big mountain/river".

But of course the most famous is "Kanata," meaning "village." As overdramatized here.

@G Eagle:
You'd best be careful--I believe all those terms were (TM) of Lucasfilm Inc.

So they preferred taking their chances on Middle Intercourse Island? Or Tittybong? Of course, Wet Beaver Creek isn't a funny name.

At 7:08 a.m., Anonymous G Eagle Esq said...

ScHocking, Monsieur Ortem

It's bad enough that you and Senor FFE would have corrupted a certain Aqilan into voting for Mr Obama, if only he's had a Vote


Now that famous Racoon, Mr Strutts, has posted on this Subject


Alles Gute


WV = Convo

These Romanians are taking over your WV

At 8:54 a.m., Blogger G Eagle said...

Buon Giorno

So, this is what a Google Account looks like

..... still having worked out how to get an invitation to visit the Lady ApilihP's Blogge

wv = dalat - these wv Romanians are getting everywhere

At 1:00 p.m., Blogger Philipa said...

Email me Mr Eagle. Please!

At 2:53 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

Sr Eagle:
Glad are we that a sagacious aquilan has enrolled in the vast googlespiracy.

However, judging by the word "proire" that I am to enter to verify myself I would say that it is not Romansch who have taken over the wv, but Frrrench.


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