Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

20 August 2008

Stuff You've Always Wondered About #44

Mme Metro put me in the way of this wonderful selection from McSweeney's:

CORRECTIONS TO LAST MONTH'S LETTERS TO PENTHOUSE FORUM

A sample:
In the letter "And Wifey Makes Three," the letter writer stated: "My wife was eager to engage in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter." The sentence should read: "My wife was disgusted, repulsed, and, in every imaginable way, opposed to the thought of engaging in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter."
And imagine, for all these years I thought those letters were faked!

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3 Comments:

At 7:01 AM, Blogger Pugs said...

I bet the babysitter wasn't too thrilled about the prospect either.

I always get a kick out of these "fantasies". They always involve an older male distinguished type (translation - unhappily married douchebag)and some ripe teenager with pouting lips, a firm ass and buttery thighs. Having wokrd with a lot of said teenage girls, I can truly say the last thing 99.9% of them want is an old man with baggage UNLESS he is willing to shell out some gifts and dough. Even then they say that it's a stretch to hide the revulsion.

On the other hand, most young gay men find the older married men a safe conquest. Kinda like getting their feet wet before they dive into the big leagues of full on bathhouse antics. Of course, you never hear about these stories in Penthouse, or you do and they substitute the young man for a hot to trot teenage vixen. Funny actually..

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger Metro said...

@Pugs:

Dude, you are totally harshing my buzz on this.

Speaking as a married, creeping-toward-middle-aged guy (hopefully without baggage) I revel in the thought that somewhere out there my spiritual brothers are pounding babysitters, metermaids, the occasional space alien chick, hot guy, or other consenting intelligent being with a regularity only ever seen at Vivid Video studios.

Because it gives me a certain hope that one day I too might write a letter beginning with: "I never ever thought that this could happen to me, but when Canndii jiggled into my life, I knew" ...yadda yadda.

Personally, I think there are loads of men and women of all age differences engaging in wondrously dirty, wrong, illicit sex, many of them near-strangers.

But they sure as hell aren't writing about it to Penthouse. They're bragging it up to their friends in bars, is my guess.

By the way ... did you know that every time a woman has an orgasm, a tv preacher develops another heamorrhoid?

 
At 6:49 AM, Blogger Pugs said...

LOL! Dream on sucker!

 

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