Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

11 August 2008

Speaking of Fags ...

So one of my fantasies goes like this:

The trumpets flourish, the princess grips my arm tightly, hats are swept off as I ascend to my position standing before the throne.The king limps to the throne and says:

"Good knight, you have saved the kingdom and my daughter. I owe you a debt none could repay. Anything I may offer is yours, you have but to ask."

"Great!" I reply "I want a peek into Dan Savage's mailbox!"

--And no, that's not a metaphor for anything. I just want to read some of the letters he doesn't print. Letters that engender responses like this:
Confidential to Rick in Austin: It is indeed rare for two men to meet and fall in love while each is banging half of a pair of male twins. (Or were you sleeping with two different pairs of twins who shared an apartment when you took that fateful trip to the bathroom? It's unclear from your letter.) And, no, having a Hare Krishna brother shouldn't impact your love life, karma-wise, any more than having an English professor brother has impacted mine, classics-of-American-literature-wise.
I wanna see what the heck the original message was!

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3 Comments:

At 12:39 PM, Blogger Pugs said...

It's a sorted twisted world those gays live! I can only imagine what the rest of the letter said.

As for the poor sap who was dupped by the picture, I can totally relate to that. I've had my share of meeting people and when I actually see them I want to make a run for the border, any border. Although I've never cam out and said "That's not you in the picture", I have politely excused myself to go to the restroom and slipped out the back door entrance...

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Metro said...

I agree, and I love it! Sordid and twisted is the way I enjoy almost all matters sexual, especially when they're dragged into the public sphere.

I was raised Catholic--how am I supposed to know it's right unless it feels dirty, perverse, and wrong?

I've never dealt with the "That's not you" thing. I have no idea how I'd react.

"Wow--put on a coupla pounds since high school, haventcha?" seems a little gauche.

 
At 7:23 AM, Blogger Pugs said...

I once went to meet someone who said they had blond hair and blue eyes. Well when I met them they did, unfotunately, they had black hair that was dyed an orangey blond and blue contacts. I was pissed.

 

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