In the Big Inning
While researching bats for a piece on rabies I found God. Turns out he's a ballplayer. At least according to the Smithsonian magazine.
[excerpt]
...the children of Israel ...said "Who shall go up for us first...?" (Judges 20:18)[/excerpt]
...seek out a man who is a skillful player... (I Samuel 16:16)
...Judah [shall go up] first... (Judges 20:18)
[And] Judah took... (Judges 1:18)
Three times... (Exodus 23:14)
...and...it was good. (Genesis 1:10)
...and Abram went down... (Genesis 12:10)
...out at the base... (Leviticus 4:18)
I'd worry that the fundies might call for the author's head for his blasphemy, did I not know that most of them can't read anything but John 3:16 and Leviticus 19 or so.
Labels: Creative Aquisitions Dept., Funny, Heroes, literary, Names, Power, Psychology, Rednecks
posted by Metro @ 11:35 am
3 Comments:
No, they'll just go after your ass for reprinting this blasphemy! Then we'll find out that one of them actually wrote the damn thing and then they will repent and ask for our forgiveness (while secretly seeing a hooker in the nearest day sleeper hotel)...
I'd say you're right, but change the word "hooker" to "catamite".
How it got from bats and rabies, to God to baseball is beyond me. But I've always said that read correctly, the Bible will support anything.
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