Sometimes There Are Only Seven Appropriate Words

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

I used to think he was god. Then I began to understand how he would have mocked me for that.

One of his remarks that I've always enjoyed stemmed from an early arrest:

I got arrested for saying shit in a town where the number-one game is called craps!

In between episodes of shredding the socio-political fabric, he did lighter work:I remember him as Mr. Conductor, after Ringo left. And of course I saw him in this (didn't everyone?):



My all time favourites from him were the throwaway little "things you never see/hear."

You never see a big fat tall Chinese guy with red hair.

You never hear someone say "Hand me that piano."

You never see a wheelchair with a roll bar.

And of course, the legendary:

Here's something no-one has ever heard, ever:

"As soon as I put this hot poker in my ass I'm going to chop my dick off!"

You know why you never heard that? Right! Cause nobody ever SAID that!

I am the first person in the history of the world to put those words together in that particular order.

The world is a slightly tawdrier and cheaper place with him out of it.