Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

24 June 2008

Cops Crack Down on Criminals, Comedians

Well what else was I supposed to think when I read this headline?



Or perhaps they're persecuting the BDSM community now. I can just see the raid:

Door bursts open, spilling blue-clad figures in tight nylon into a room containing a rack of toys and a rack on which a figure is painfully secured.

"Alright, police!"

"Oh my god ... are you guys all for real? Or did Master Joe set this up as a surprise? He's really thoughtful that way."

"What? Wait ... nobody move ..."

"I can't officer. I'm tied here."

"Uh, yeah, well ... do you have any guns here?"

"No. Just the usual ... whips, chains, paddles. You know the stuff. Oh my god ... look at all that leather ... the gun, the handcuffs, the big shiny badges ... oh my god ... *pant pant*. Could you put those mirrored shades on? You know, I bet you've got a pair in your pants, I mean pocket."

"We're here to enforce a gag order."

"Well you could certainly enforce a gag order on me, big guy. Look, officer, could you do me a favour?"

"Like what, let you up?"

"Oh no, no ... I was just wondering ... would you tase me?"

"Tase you?"

"yeah, just a little. Hit me with that shock baton ... I've been very bad. But I won't tell you how bad, and there's no way you can make me!"

"Look, I ..."

"Oh come ON! Jesus, what do I have to do to get you to tase me here, jaywalk? Come on, Pleeeease!"

"I can't do that ..."

"Oh don't tease me--tase me! ... Tase me bro!"

"Well ... okay ..."

"Well alright then! Let's do it!"

"... But my partner gets to watch."


I suppose I could have written up the idea of a raid on Yuk-Yuks Comedy Club, but this ought to do a bit more for the hits, you know.

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2 Comments:

At 7:03 PM, OpenID frontiereditor said...

I was just telling my pal the other day that Dave Foley was a threat to society.

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Metro said...

Actually, I think this is more Dave Vitter's territory.

Foley's way behind connected Republicans in the threat-to-society sweepstakes.

Heck, I think he was the only straight guy in the group, no?

 

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