Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

29 April 2008

Florida Lawmaker Taking the Ball by the Horns

Well now that any psycho can park his gun right by the factory door for those moments of homicidal rage, what is the gun-totin' community up to?

Well, pardner, Republican Cary Baker, gun shop owner, isn't resting on his laurels. He's moving to ban truck nuts. You know, those rubber bull testicles that the intellectually challenged mount on their cars and trailer hitches?



And the Florida Senate passed it on, just like it was real legislation. Canadian tax dollars at work.

Me, I think they're stupid and a bit mystifying. I mean, what's the truck owner trying to say? "I like testicles?" "My virility is intrinsically intertwined with the vehicle I drive?" "I'm stupid enough to pay $20 for a pair of rubber bull testes?"

But banning them? Because they're "offensive"?

In a state which is moving to print Christian license plates with the slogan "I believe"?



I don't object to it, in theory ... as long as they print the atheist "I don't" plate, the Muslim "Allah akbar" plate, and the Jewish "It's our damn book, and we want it back!" plate.

There certainly seems to be a lot of offensive balls going on in Florida.

And yes, I feel use of these decorations should be discouraged with extreme prejudice. But it doesn't take legislation: Whenever someone asks me "What are those?" I just tell them that it means the driver is a member of the gay community.

Once that trope works its way into society, the pickup drivers will be turning their vehicles into steers.

5 Comments:

At 1:50 p.m., Blogger Pugs said...

I AGREE! Although I am not an atheist, I don't particularly like religion of any kind shoved in my face. And I certainly don't want to see that plate right before I crash into you as I'm talking on my cell phone, reading or eating while driving...

 
At 2:15 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

Thanks for stopping by, pugs. I feel sort of like that when I see one of those "God is my co-pilot" bumper stickers.

I keep thinking "Well wouldja let him drive for awhile? You're doing it wrong."

 
At 7:23 p.m., Blogger Slave to the dogs said...

"And the Florida Senate passed it on, just like it was real legislation. Canadian tax dollars at work."

If that means you're willing to annex our rednecks, we have plenty more to send you.

Like I said to Pugs, bad taste is still constitutional. I'm suprised this bill passed.

I'd put a Darwin fish on my car if I did such things. I too recoil at seeing religious messages shoved down my throat when I'm in traffic. That applies to Wiccan bumper-stickers as well as Jesus fish.

 
At 9:22 p.m., Anonymous PJ of the broken blog said...

I always assumed the hanging testes on boys' trucks meant that they didn't have any of their own.

 
At 7:17 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

@STTD:
I was referring more to the fact that many Florida residents are in fact snowbirds.

@PJ:
Sorry to hear about the blog. As to the decorations, my feeling is if you're driving a beat-up Chevvy pickup full of hay bales and dog hair, you're legit. Otherwise you're just a poser and it's just compensation for your perceived male shortcomings.

If it's jacked up, covered in chrome and gets polished every week then you need analysis. Or a good interior decorator.

 

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