Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

28 February 2008

On "Carbon Footprint"

I'm really not getting a great deal of work done, but I saw this post over at "A Bit Part in Your Life, and felt inspired.
There are a lot of lovely words and phrases out there. Like Valentine, birthday cake, payday and happy hour. But there are also a lot of really terrible words and phrases. Too many to name, but here's a sampling of some of my (least) favourites.
[...]
Carbon Footprint.
Okay, my problem with this one isn't that it is a pretentious, overused buzzword, my problem is that it sounds nice. Carbon Footprint. It's lovely, gentle, poetic even. It makes me think of footprints in the sand on a beach on a lame Hallmark sympathy card. I think if people want to get their environmental point across, they should use a more disgusting phrase than Carbon Footprint. Something like "Carbon Shit Streak" perhaps."
Well "$#17 streak" is a bit strong for a sensitive character like myself, but I agree. It's time for a change. From now on, I am resolved to trying to reduce my
carbon skid mark, or CSM.

It's short, has a three-letter abbreviation that rolls off the tongue (which, in relation to skid marks, is really something that doesn't bear thinking about), and best of all, it's disgusting. So much so that you can buy the "Skidmark Safe" to keep your valuables safe from thieves.

My old Company Sergeant-Major, or CSM, might have had a problem with the abbreviation. But he too was short and disgusting (Whether he rolled off the tongue was something I never chose to investigate and also does not bear thinking about).

So let's all try to lower our environmental impact, sure. And let's try to cut down on our fossil fuel consumption. But most of all, let's try and wash out our pesky carbon skid marks. Yay!

2 Comments:

At 5:01 PM, Blogger amanda said...

"a sensitive character like myself", and yet you had to use the rolling off your tongue image. gross. really. but funny.

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger Metro said...

Every secondof typing that phrase was agony, honestly.

 

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