Please, Please Tell Me What I'm Doing Right!

My average number of visitors is about two hundred on a good day. Today I'm already up around five hundred.

What am I doing right?

Well based on my comprehensive analysis of the stats involved, that would be this:



And this:



And this:



You're all perverts!

Welcome. You don't know how proud and happy I am to see you all. I don't know why it took you so long to get here, but I hope I've made it easier.

Let nobody say I don't aim to please.

In the spirit of which: (A-hem)
You've been a very naughty boy/girl/other. Now I'm going to have to punish you. Bend over ...

No, sorry. Can't do it. Whore I may occasionally be, but cheap, no.

So if your fingers are still flexible enough, and unsticky, go read the story, which is getting some decent press, or one of the other entries here at Metroblog.

At least you might hang around after you've finished. It seems most of you take about a minute and a quarter. Haven't you heard of afterplay? I mean, if you're only coming to me for just that one thing then you should at least stick around for a few minutes of polite conversation.

Oh fine, just shove off and go visit Raincoaster's beaver shots. I can't find the ones taken by Mme Metro.

Of course you could always bring me a present. Or give me some money. I'd be okay with that. I'd even offer you a bonus pic:



And yes, yes:
You've been a very naughty boy/girl/other ...