Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

26 June 2007

Please, Please Tell Me What I'm Doing Right!

My average number of visitors is about two hundred on a good day. Today I'm already up around five hundred.

What am I doing right?

Well based on my comprehensive analysis of the stats involved, that would be this:



And this:



And this:



You're all perverts!

Welcome. You don't know how proud and happy I am to see you all. I don't know why it took you so long to get here, but I hope I've made it easier.

Let nobody say I don't aim to please.

In the spirit of which: (A-hem)
You've been a very naughty boy/girl/other. Now I'm going to have to punish you. Bend over ...

No, sorry. Can't do it. Whore I may occasionally be, but cheap, no.

So if your fingers are still flexible enough, and unsticky, go read the story, which is getting some decent press, or one of the other entries here at Metroblog.

At least you might hang around after you've finished. It seems most of you take about a minute and a quarter. Haven't you heard of afterplay? I mean, if you're only coming to me for just that one thing then you should at least stick around for a few minutes of polite conversation.

Oh fine, just shove off and go visit Raincoaster's beaver shots. I can't find the ones taken by Mme Metro.

Of course you could always bring me a present. Or give me some money. I'd be okay with that. I'd even offer you a bonus pic:



And yes, yes:
You've been a very naughty boy/girl/other ...

6 Comments:

At 6:54 a.m., Anonymous Philipa said...

I've got to say that even though I'm heterosexual Marilyn Monroe is just gorgeous isn't she?

 
At 7:06 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

I don't see why that should surprise anyone. After all, I'm heterosexual myself and I think she's loverly.

Almost as hot as Norma Jean Baker.

 
At 9:03 a.m., Anonymous PJ said...

I've had serious spikes in my visitor stats too, lately. StumbleUpon seems to be one reason because I haven't posted anything controversial lately, like the Jehovah's post that drew 200,000 visitors and crashed the server.

 
At 9:34 a.m., Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

My traffic has been down this week. Not sure why. I'm still swearing.

 
At 8:57 a.m., Anonymous Philipa said...

Metro I'm sad to say that I've been threatened again and am sick of all the unpleasantness and charges of.. oh there's a list of nasty names. I'm paying for nothing if I adhere to all the restrictions for fear of being hauled into court while his lawyers "find something", so am ending my internet service. Thanks so much for all your brilliant comments and for your blog too; some great stuff.
All best wishes,
Pip x

 
At 9:16 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Philipa:

I'm truly saddened to hear it. You have my e-mail address. Keep in touch.

And perhaps if the furor dies down, in a while, you might return to the Blogosphere unthreatened.

 

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