A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

26 April 2007

The Workplace is an Ass!

Fresh from the meeting today with a boatload of metaphors.

Re. My little section of my workplace:

Basically, there’s this wee tiny donkey trying to pull this great big ginormous cart. Lately it has been observed that the donkey is complaining vociferously about the enormity of the load.

Management’s solution is to break the load down into two portions and load both portions onto two carts half the size. Then hook them both up to the same donkey.

Actually, since they're transferring my old boss from electronica to marketing, and since we're not getting anyone in to replace her, the metaphorical donkey is also having a leg pulled off.

Re. My boss
Not my old boss. My current boss.

There's this orchestra, see? And there's a conductor trying to make everything come out looking and sounding good.

Every so often, people from the box office or janitorial staff come racing in and stick unrelated music sheets on the stands of the musicians.

The conductor's job is to stop them. However, sometime last year the conductor was interrupted by the orchestra board, and handed a trombone to play--in addition to the other duties.

My boss devotes 45 percent of her work time to a non-product that makes no money, and therefore has no budget attached, nor personnel work hours alloted. Nonetheless it is immensely successful and popular, and the people in charge want her to continue to maintain it.

Re. Perception of work value:
Every so often the people who sponsor the orchestra show up, wanting to know what happened to all their money. They are shown the instruments, which they cautiously approve, they meet musicians.

Then they try to measure the music with a yardstick. Whereupon they decide that nothing has been produced, and so what is required is that more sheet music be given to be played each evening, in the same alloted time and by the same size of orchestra.

I really do love what I do for a living, but like everything else it would be easier if they'd just give me/us money and let me/us get on with things.


At 7:05 p.m., Anonymous PJ said...

Great metaphor!

At 2:53 a.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

Uh, the page took so long to come up that I can't remember what I was gonna comment on. When in doubt, revert to template:

Limbaugh is a junkie ass. Anarchy is the only moral way.

At 6:30 a.m., Anonymous G Eagle Esq said...

Ach, Meneer Metro

Work the curse of the Drinking Classes

Your much obliged

G Eagle

At 8:22 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Your praise is as new-fallen dew, gently dripping down my collar, and onto the back of my neck.

Y'know, I told the Google-geneers: "You gotta make the page load faster than Raincoaster can drink a pint of gin."

They told me there's no way to overclock a monitor.

@Glen Eagle:
In this we are as one.
It is my continual curse to find work that makes me happy at the same time as work that would pay me like a mad fool opens up, usually elsewhere or at a time when I can't possibly take advantage.

For example, having pulled up stakes and moved out to here, I found out after taking my deeply-personally-satisfying job that the Alberta oil patch had positions for qualified truck drivers paying about twice my current salary. The bonus was that I wouldn't have to move. They'd fly me out and back every so often, right to my hometown airport.

I was so tempted. Were it not for my new acting hobby I might have taken the work.

But dammit! I spent two years repositioning my skill set so that I could give up driving and write for a living instead.

So I have chosen the pauper's lot, but I'm enjoying it so far.


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