A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

10 April 2007

PWNing the H8rz

I get more inspired every time I look at Jacob Seilheimer's site. From the FAQ section:
Q: What happens if you don't finish the race? (Meghan Rodriguez - Tampa, FL)

A: Then the terrorists will have won... not an option.


Q: Will you marry me? (anonymous donor)

A: Yes.

Q: If not, why?

A: I already said yes. You know what, never mind... you're too controlling.

For a man who admits to drinking his life away in lonely misery most Saturday nights, Bear has guts. I mean, a chance like that doesn't come by on the web every day ... well okay--I've had a few offers. Many from "hot russian girls!!!" and "Lovely Asian Women™," But you get the point.

I think he's gonna make it, walk, run, crawl ... he'll do it even if it literally kills him. And I'm gonna put $1 US onto one of those charities for every one of the 26 miles, he travels. I invite all Avid Fans (all three of them) to do the same. Especially those who think he shouldn't be running it, and couldn't possibly make it.

In fact, here's my offer:

If he doesn't actually drop dead (a possibility I feel is unlikely, but still ...), I'll put in $2 US for every mile he doesn't cover, plus $1 for every one he does. Avid fans who don't believe he can make it will put in $2 for every mile he makes it, to a maximum of $25 US, and nothing for any miles he doesn't cover.

So if he goes all the way, he gets $26 from me plus $25 from each Avid Fan who takes me up on this. If he makes it half-way, he gets $39 from me, and $25 again. If he drops at the starting line, he gets $52 from me and nada from anyone else.

Everybody wins--except me, possibly.

If he drops out because he's injured, I'll acknowledge losing the bet and pay $1.50 a mile. After all, the trained athletes in this game drop out with injuries all the time too.

Donations will be verified by using printed receipts from one of the three charities Bear's running for, signed by witnesses and exchanged by snail mail. Notarization will not be required, since anyone who'd welch on such a bet would be so small-souled as to be not worth the wear and tear on the pillory, and will eventually be ruined by their own foul Karma.

You need not be an Avid Fan, anyone stumbling along on the info highway is welcome. If you're up for this, leave a message saying so in the comments along with a link or e-mail addy I can reach you at. Format any e-mail addresses as "myaccount AT somehost DOT com" to avoid spambots.

Any takers?


At 12:03 a.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

What if he's injured during training, not during the race? And what if he DOES actually die between now and then?

At 6:28 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Does that mean you're taking the bet?

If he doesn't start the race, all bets are off. If he actually dies I'll donate $26 to one of the three charities in his memory.

Heck, I think that'd have to become an annual event.

"Jacob Seilheimer Day". Has a certain ring to it, yah?

Celebrate One Man's Dream ...

There's a movie in this.

At 6:40 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Oh--and if one of those noble atheletes on the course with him takes him out, that is if he winds up shoved into the ditch (a sight vaguely intriguing, like watching a penguin shove an iceberg around), then you pay $2 per mile for the entire distance of the marathon: $52 total.

At 12:36 a.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

Thanks Metro, you just ensured I won't take the bet. Of COURSE he's going to encounter hostility on the course. I told you that in my first comment on the issue. I would bet on it. Literally.

I thought you were betting on him completing the race? Whether he bails on the course or before shouldn't matter. Change those clauses and I will take the bet.

At 9:32 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

You're on. If he doesn't make it to the starting line, I'll throw down $26 US regardless of cause.

At 2:46 p.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

US??? You be livin' large, yo!

U B on.

At 2:48 p.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

Uh, that's provided that interference during the race does not nullify the bet, just to be sure we're on the same page.

Because he WILL be interfered with. I know these people, and they are assholes.


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