A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

15 March 2007


Some random stuff, in no particular order and for no real purpose.

Yesterday the chiropractor was finishing a follow-up inspection (I hurt my back about three weeks before this Workplace Fitness Challenge started).
"Have you lost weight?" she asked.
I was actually surprised. My belt size hasn't changed, although I notice I'm wearing my pants higher--almost at my actual waist rather than around my hips.
"I don't think so."
"Well have you been exercising?"
"Yeah, about two weeks now."
"I thought so--you've toned up."

"Toned up". Me. I'm smiling quietly to myself as I write. I didn't even think I had muscle to tone.

This morning I was coming in to work from the gym, and I saw some people standing on the sidewalk holding their coffees, trembling in the frost of what is turning out to be a near-cloudless day so far. And I remembered that sweet, ever-savoury moment as the first nicotine rush met the first mouthful of coffee. And then I thought Wow. Was I ever really like that?

Yeah, I was. Spring is when I miss smoking the most. Standing in the sunlight, absorbing vitamin D, caffeine and nicotine. It's a good thing I can live without it now. I've almost been away from the habit a full year. Nearly long enough that the smell makes me vaguely ill rather than nostaligic. Which is good, because my willpower alone might not be able to keep me from having one a day, or something equally silly.

Did I mention that I walked/ran the entire mile to the gym today? I hate running. The sabretooth tiger is extinct and therefore I see no need for anybody to run. I work at a place with a flexible-ish workday, so I never have to run for a bus. I plan appointments so that I can stroll to them from work. Yet today I came out of the house and began to alternate walking and running 100 paces at a time. It's almost exactly a mile to the gym (and, admittedly mostly on a gentle downhill slope). That was kind of cool.

Last night Mme Metro and I went to a Karaoke night. I normally enjoy them. Singing is one of my vast array of semi-secret vices, along with the Powerpuff Girls.


I like the writing, okay? Let him or her who hath understanding dig this quote from the movie:
Well I was reaching down between my legs to ease the seat back, and suddenly this atomic punk came out of nowhere, lighting up the sky with no fair warning, and now ... Jamie's crying.
And to quote Bugs from the Looney Tunes Back in Action flick (far better than Space Jam and a favourite of Mme's)
Lady, if you don't find a rabbit in lipstick funny, you and I got nothin' to say to each other.

Animated movies on the brain today ... where was I?

Oh yes, so we went to a Karaoke night. Normally I groove on K-nights, I enjoy the crowd vibe, and I'm not a bad singer if the audience is sufficiently sozzled. But this was an audience of individuals and their fans. No-one seemed to be paying particular attention to anyone on stage. The manager of the bar was schmoozing (loudly) with her friends at the table next ours, and one of the two guys running the show kept wandering off when anyone was performing. He stuck around for the skinny blonde girl who was with a party who seemed to be from the strip bar downtown. And honestly it was hard to blame him. Her voice was very good when she picked the right tunes.

But she wasn't a patch on the fat chick. Yeah, not just big, fat. About 300 lbs. And a voice like a £µ¢λing angel. Though I confess that I can barely remember what that sounds like ...

In future I want American Idol and the karaoke bars to set up screens. The evaluations should be done entirely blind. Because in real music, appearance is £µ¢λ-all and the sound is everything. But a fat bloke can get away with it, and a hottie can ignore performance flaws. But Mama Cass better have both terrific pipes and amazing stage presence, as well as the ability to totally ignore people in the audience looking at her and whispering behind their hands.

Speaking of stages: I just got done playing a phone repair man in a local play. Now another play has an opening. The woman casting it says I'm too old to play the lead, but she might give me the baddie. I've always wanted to play the villain.

Please leave your smartass comment below.


At 4:57 a.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

You're a natural for the part. Just don't get too toned.

At 5:26 a.m., Anonymous archie said...

Villains have to be toned, and fit. Otherwise they get caught at the end of act1 scene1. I admit to a touch of nostalgia for the theatre at the moment. I used to do the lighting and sound for an amateur theatre group.

At 9:58 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Ah Raincoaster, I knew I could count on you ... one ... two ... three ...

Actually, for a change, this is an evil YOUNG count, kind of like Humperdink in the "Princess Bride" tale. For very similar reasons.

I thought I might play him as Bloefeld. But the theatre doesn't have the budget for the underwater lair. Still, I might see if MMe Metro will let me bleach one of the cats white.

At 12:50 a.m., Anonymous azahar said...

Well done on not smoking for almost a year! I quit at the beginning of November and sometimes when I see people smoking I think 'wow, I'm free!' because I don't have to do that anymore. Though apparently I shouldn't get too smug as people often fall back into smoking, but it was one of the most positive things I've ever done for myself so I hope it stays that way.

At 9:23 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Good on you, Azahar. I know that feeling too. I just sometimes wish it didn't come with a wee twinge of nostalgia attached.

Part of the problem is that since smoking was part of my life for around fifteen years on-and-off, many of my positive memories (the ones I keep) are associated with smoking. So are the unpleasant ones, but I don't keep those around.

At 5:57 a.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

If you want to play a young Count, you'll have do to better than that. Now give me the line again, this way:

"Ah Raincoaster, I knew I could count on, ah, ah."

At 2:22 a.m., Anonymous G Eagle Esq said...

Bonjour M Metro

The Sabre Tooth Tiger may be extinct, but the Tax Man isn't - the Dark Lord grows ever more powerful & intrusive .... and destructive

Yr ob servt etc

G Eagle

At 4:26 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

Meineer Eagle:

Since when did running from a tax man do any good at all?

There's nothing certain but death and taxes, so they say. But they're doing these wonderful experiments with mice.

Of course mice never have to pay taxes--they don't earn enough. Rats simply evande them.


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