Beer and Cheese

Two of my favourite nutritional supplements. Look, there are people gobbling yeast for their "health" (as though being well-fed wasn't enough for them). Yeast is in beer a-plenty. And cheese is a great source of calcium. But now I have to give them up, theoretically.

As I approach my somethingth decade of life I have to consider my weight and health more soberly. This week my workplace is getting on the "biggest loser" train, six weeks after introducing a voluntary butt-out program. It seems to me that the boss is trying to have us all become perfect. But that's another question.

So I sign up, I pay half of a three-month gym membership. Theoretcially I can get together with a salesperson--sorry, a "personal trainer" to set up a program "that works for me".

Salesperson: So what sort of program are you looking for?
Me: Um, how about "sit at computer, melt away pounds"?
Sales: {polite laugh} Well what activities do you enjoy?
Me: £µ¢λing. £µ¢λing's nice. I also like lying on the couch watching TV and eating pizza. Ooh! Ooh--have you got one for people that like drinking lots of beer?

Say! I wonder if my boss would pay for a three-month membership at the Bunny Ranch?

So we get a half-price three-month gym membership, a nutritionist session, and a personal trainer session. Yay. Anyway, since I'm between twenty-five and forty pounds overweight (we don't have a scale in the house, and why would we want one?), I figured I'd sign up.

After all, I have nothing to lose. Well, you know what I mean. Watch this space for further announcements.

On the plus side, I've sucessfully sidetracked to bloody marys, which have the added advantage of containing a full serving of vegetables. Heck, if my liver holds out maybe I can turn this into a diet book! Drink Yourself Thin!