A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

01 March 2007

Beer and Cheese

Two of my favourite nutritional supplements. Look, there are people gobbling yeast for their "health" (as though being well-fed wasn't enough for them). Yeast is in beer a-plenty. And cheese is a great source of calcium. But now I have to give them up, theoretically.

As I approach my somethingth decade of life I have to consider my weight and health more soberly. This week my workplace is getting on the "biggest loser" train, six weeks after introducing a voluntary butt-out program. It seems to me that the boss is trying to have us all become perfect. But that's another question.

So I sign up, I pay half of a three-month gym membership. Theoretcially I can get together with a salesperson--sorry, a "personal trainer" to set up a program "that works for me".

Salesperson: So what sort of program are you looking for?
Me: Um, how about "sit at computer, melt away pounds"?
Sales: {polite laugh} Well what activities do you enjoy?
Me: £µ¢λing. £µ¢λing's nice. I also like lying on the couch watching TV and eating pizza. Ooh! Ooh--have you got one for people that like drinking lots of beer?

Say! I wonder if my boss would pay for a three-month membership at the Bunny Ranch?

So we get a half-price three-month gym membership, a nutritionist session, and a personal trainer session. Yay. Anyway, since I'm between twenty-five and forty pounds overweight (we don't have a scale in the house, and why would we want one?), I figured I'd sign up.

After all, I have nothing to lose. Well, you know what I mean. Watch this space for further announcements.

On the plus side, I've sucessfully sidetracked to bloody marys, which have the added advantage of containing a full serving of vegetables. Heck, if my liver holds out maybe I can turn this into a diet book! Drink Yourself Thin!


At 7:50 a.m., Anonymous SG said...

Obsessed with bunny ranches lately, are we? Better stick to beer and cheese - a cheaper antidote to boredom.

At 8:15 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

Hey--I'm only supporting professional women in the workplace.

And I'm off cheese at the moment.

Of course it's only eight o'clock yet.


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