Inconvenient, But True

It's official. An exhaustive analysis of international climate-change research has led to the foregone conclusions that:

Global warming and the associated climate change are real.

This change is primarily man-made,

Now I want everyone who has decried global warming as some sort of "scare tactic", or expressed similar sentiments, to hang his or her head and say "You were right. I was wrong."

Mr. Bush? Mr. Harper?

It's only polite to admit you're in the wrong when you've spent a decade demonizing reputable science in favour of oil-company propaganda. Michael Crighton will doubtless be first to the microphone to apologize?

In Related News

The Conservative New Green Green Conservative Government of Canada™ has welcomed the report. In keeping with their new green profile they have decided to do ...

Nothing, actually.

You see, they feel that their old "just-you-wait-a-half-century-or-two" clean-air plan was just fine. Never mind that global warming (now an incontrovertible fact that possibly even Dubya couldn't deny) will continue for centuries no matter what action we actually take. Never mind that the electorate they rule over would like to be chivvied in the right direction. Kyoto was unrealistic, so we're not going to set any targets.

Harper said the only way to achieve absolute reductions was through the applications of new technologies over time.

"I don't think realistically we can tell Canadians -- stop driving your car, stop going to work, turn your heat off in the winter -- we need to adapt to new energy realities so that we can achieve emissions targets."

I would say that in this, as in all things, Harper will naturally be following his master's lead. And maybe he's right. After all, if the nation that emits a quarter of the world's carbon dioxide doesn't see the need to slow down, then why the hell should the rest of us, right?

In short, Canada's Conservative New Green Conservatively Green Government™'s Conservatively Green Strategy (also ™) is to:

1) Carry on exactly as we have been so far, and
2) Wait until science finds a way to stop it.

Just like it did with the common cold and cancer.