Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

21 December 2006

MADD Cuts Ties With Teen Queen--Like That's Bad?


Scandal-plagued temperance movement Mothers Against Drunk Drivers has ditched Miss Teen USA because she'd gone out partying with Miss USA.

I can only expect Miss TUSA's stock to rise on the news.

In related news:

The Donald is, as usual, a prick.


He was never exactly Mr. Personality--until he got famous for being a TV @$$#0!3 he was famous for being a money-grubbing real-estate @$$#0!3. The success of "The Apprentice" a "reality" show where The Donald gets to crap on B actors and the like who want to play corporate presidents, is the best proof of the ascendance of the moronacy.

The story of Trump's megalomania, his well-publicised continual search for a trophy wife worthy of the name "Trump", and his bankruptcy--showcasing his fitness to judge "businesspeople" on a TV show*--are all well-known, if oddly absent from his portfolio as media star. Now he's desperate for more publicity, and he thinks he's found it.

The story's old and formulaic: get famous, get caught doing something stupid after having a couple of beer, get into rehab and church and claim you've seen the error of your ways (step forward the Misses Bush). Now you're still the same @$$#0!3, only you're sober. So you get a pass for some reason.

Only in the case of Miss USA, Tara Conner, The Donald is forcing her to do it.
Why? Because some time ago, she drank under-age.

And may have done something vaguely sexual. The horror!

She's now 21--legal age even in the Benighted States of America. But this self-righteous joker with the bad hairpiece--a twice-divorced, "greed-is-good" sleazeball--can tell her to go get dried out?

She's an adult now. She oughta tell him to go £µ©λ his wig.

One of the most moralising and hypocritical aspects of American life is their laughable drinking age laws. There are men dead in Iraq who never touched their lips to a beer.

MADD is partly responsible; so are hypocrites like The Donald, the Bush, and all their red-blooded, white-ribbon, blue-balled friends.

Instead of finger-pointing and moralising they should use this to make a case for sane drinking laws.


*Read that piece. If only for this:
"Which, in an admittedly roundabout way, leads us to the problem that now gives Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts all the financial sex appeal of a visible sore on one's personal parts: enough debt on the balance sheet to scare off a Romanov."

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