A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

12 November 2006

Pulling out the Big Guns

Have you stepped on the "long tail"? It's may be a fantasy conjured up by some people who may or may not understand math.

The idea: Consider the pyramids. Sure, the view from the top third is great, but there's more material in the bottom half if you want to build a really big house.

Now consider a graph like so. If the graph is big enough, then the area of the "tail" might be equal to the area of the "head". Or in blog-hit terms, you get as many hits by concentrating on the readers who are the "tail" of your search engine hits.

In my case I think it means this: A certain percentage of you, o Avid Fan, arrive looking for the damndest things, from "Britney Spears sex tape head naked" to "cartoon hobo bums" to "mango porn". And no, I can't tell which of those is the more disturbing.

What the hell is mango porn anyway? Anything like Oedipus Rex performed by vegetables?

Still, I am advised by a long-tailed search engine hit counter that the post that should get me the highest number of hits on this blog would feature Joanna Lumley, nude wearing a hijab, playing a Yamaha U7 piano and reading physics while staring into the oncoming headlight trails of the BBC One Skycops who were on their way to confiscate her silly pictures of Haifa Wehbe in their 2004 Chevy Aveo (which was panned in its Lemon-Aid review, despite a generous plastering of sports team slogans).

Tomorrow evening maybe I'll see whether this actually works.

Where the hell would you find a silly picture of Haifa Wehbe anyway?


At 1:43 a.m., Blogger a h m a d said...

What would be your reaction if you knew that Haifa Wehbe supports Hezbollah and likes Hassan Nasrallah? :P

At 8:05 a.m., Anonymous Curt said...

A few weeks ago I rather arbitrarily put up a post about marketing calls from a certain phone number...I was just saying that the calls were annoying and that people should just not answer them. That post continues to substantially dwarf any and all others on my site.

At 9:29 a.m., Blogger Metro said...

@Ahmad: I'd still think she's pretty.

@Curt: Y'know, I never thought of that. Don't make the marketing calls that drive people nuts--blog about them!

*Scurries off to place name on multiple mailing lists*

At 3:29 p.m., Anonymous PJ said...

Nice use of keywording! :-) Would Oedipus Rex performed by vegetables be called "Oedipal Edibles"?

At 3:35 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

Thanks, it was kind of the point. It didn't do much, just offset the usual stat drop, I think. Unfortunately I was getting an unusual number of hits for a couple of days before, so I can't really tell how effective it's all been, but it was kind of fun.

At 9:03 p.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

Oh, so totally thanks for stealing my topic list without giving me a single link.

At 9:30 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

Joanna Lumley might turn up on your blog, I'll give you that--maybe even the notably hot Haifa Wehbe. But can you explain in what imaginable context the Yamaha U7 piano (or scooter--which is why it appears here) would appear?

And what do you know from Chevvy Aveos, headlights or Lemon-Aid? You know as much about cars as a frog knows about Friday.


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