Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

29 November 2006

I Just Had a Thought


As I said elsewhere, one of my sisters and I, along with our parents, lived in Quebec for many years--probably long enough to be citizens of the brave new nation Stephen Harper is being idiotic enough to build.

But another sister was actually born in the province.

Now follow me here: If the geographic region called the Province of Quebec isn't a nation, if rather it is the people of that province who form a nation within a nation, then each group of people represents that nation in their person right down to the individual.

So my sister is, in fact, the representative of a nation. You know what those are called? Right--ambassadors!

This is great news: I see free parking for the rest of her life, as she swoops into hotel loading zones with her diplomatic plates. Fancy dinners, limousines. And like diplomats through the ages I am certain she will be pleased to exercise her right to hire relatives and friends at ludicrous salaries to do things like hold doors, pour drinks. Surely she will need someone to guard the new giant-screen television and beer fridge, to ensure that they are not stolen or destroyed as a result of hostile action by Canada in the person of one of the informal communists who grace the city in which she lives?

Call me, sis--I work cheap! Sorry--I mean: "I stand ready to do my duty to my country-within-my-other-country."

Mr. Harper, we await with eagerness your forthcoming invitation to dinner with the Governor-General. Naturally, any failure to invite us will be considered an official snub and an act of war upon the nation of Quebec.

Vive les idiots parlimentarians!

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