A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

18 August 2006

Shall We Tell the President?

Oh--that's right. He developed the approach. A bunch of clerics from Africa are holding their own conference on fighting AIDS with the assitance of the Almighty.
Olusegun said it was unplanned that the event coincides with the International AIDS conference in Toronto, Canada.

"This is a conference with a difference because God is part of it," said Olusegun, sparking a round of "Amens" from his fellow Organizers.

While delegates in Canada discuss the latest medical discoveries, Olusegun said any advances in treatment or a cure would be the work of God. "Scientific breakthroughs are God's blessing to society."

Inspiration for the conference came from a passage in the Bible that recounts a plague stopped by divine intervention.

"We are anticipating a similar response from God to the HIV/AIDS pandemic," said Olusegun, CEO of the South African-based Institute for Christian Leadership Development.

"If the guys in the Old Testament can get that response we know we can too."
Okay--firstly, God started the Old Testament plagues. Seems to me that he had the responsibility to clean them up!

Second: why would God suddenly clear up AIDS now? After however many million dead already? If you're able to cure AIDS by thinking about it, wouldn't a just and benevolent god have done it in say, 1979? Or is AIDS a curse on people who had shag carpeting and track lighting? Given where the major impact of the epidemic is being felt, probably not.

If you're a big fan of "faith-based" medicine, next time you're suffering from appendicitis or something, please don't go hogging precious hospital beds that us heathens need!

What I want to know is--how many actual scientists were at this second conference?

Near as I can figure, these clerics are saying "We're expecting God to cause AIDS to spontaneously vanish. But if scientists cure AIDS, it's only because God caused them to." Nice way to hedge your bets. Of course hedging your bets isn't what faith is supposed to be about ...

To prove the value of this "god-centred" approach Dick Cheney should have his "pacemaker" (it may actually be a liquid helium pump) removed and "give his problem to God", as they say. Let's see how well this idea works.

For the rest of us, let's keep in mind that while faith was responsible for the initial advancement of science, it is science that has since been responsible for the advancement of faith, which has tried to retard science ever since. Telephones and the internet made possible mega-churches, which made possible a president with no respect for nor understanding of science, which made possible an anti-AIDS policy without condoms or proper sex ed.

The equivalent would be to give a child a tricycle with only two wheels.

Hey--I have a terrific idea! A bracelet for born-agains that says: "Who would Jesus cure?--not those hellbound homos!"

Or--"If Bill Frist gets involved--PULL THE PLUG!"

Oo! Oo! This'll be a best-seller:
"Do not resucitate--I'm SAVED!"


At 5:26 a.m., Anonymous raincoaster said...

You'll like this one:

At 1:48 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post reminded me of my next door neighbour in Kits. She went to a psychic for birthcontrol, it didn't take (maybe she didn't wait long enough) and so she took her to court for "practicing without a license". The Judge wisely threw it out! Good job they have wide sleeves to laugh up.

At 1:50 p.m., Anonymous Lydia said...

Hey, sorry anon. that's me! Can you change that Metro?

At 10:53 p.m., Blogger Metro said...

Psychic birth control? Y'mean if I think it hard enough some of these people I meet every day will never have kids?

That could be a very good thing.

-Strolls of whistling "I've got a little list, I've got a little list"


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