Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

17 August 2006

Overheard in a Meeting

The outfit I'm now employed by is famous for meetings. As we operate across borders, time zones, and cultural gulfs, quite a number of these take place by teleconference, usually between groups of people gathered around a speakerphone looking like druids at a very small Stonehenge.

My uber-boss is a manic control freak from Connecticut. He has ideas so fast that sometimes they all come tumbling out of his mouth at once in stuttering spurts. His conversation loops and swerves, seemingly at random until someone in the audience takes control of the conversation and says facilitatively:

"So you want us to print another issue?"

More looping and swerving, then finally:

"Well ... I guess ... do we want to do that? Yeah. I guess. I mean, how do you guys feel about that?"

The last time I had the dubious privilege of being in on one of these things, I was bemused and secretly thrilled to hear the boss say:

"Are we limiting our market here? Temporally, yes; spatially no."

And I experience the following train of thought, quite clearly:

That is, our market is limited in time, but not in space.

Does he know something we don't? Is this an Earth-as-Krypton scenario? Perhaps we are secretly constructing a rocket to take our work to those three new planets which are as yet devoid of workplace industrial safety literature?

I wouldn't trust NASA with it--they can't even find the Moon landing tapes. Naturally--the whole "Moon Landing" thing was faked out at Trinity and then blown up with a nuclear bomb so no-one could ever prove differently. JFk planned it that way--just like he faked his own assasination and the death of Marilyn Monroe. People don't see the truth, but I see the truth.

You don't know psychiatry, I do.


I suspect my boss may be contagious.

It's wonderful to have what is sometimes a long stretch of correcting the same old errors from people who can't spell relieved by meetings with a man who thinks temporally, but acts spatially.

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