Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

15 August 2006

In Keeping With Today's Theme

i.e., Me not saying anything, here's a sweet little piece from the Fuggers.
I wish to state in advance that I give not a $#!7 about fashion, and that the machinations of the Big Brother television show are basically unknown to me. But given the week I've had so far (and O €λ^!$7 it's still only Tuesday!), letting mere ignorance stand in my way seems daft. So here it is:
I wonder how Jesus would feel about the fact that she is furiously exposing herself, all in the name of having enough chest space to accommodate the enormous cross hanging around her neck. If you believe my somewhat sacreligious Sunday-School teacher from my grade eight pre-Confirmation classes, Jesus would have loved this, because he was always a party animal and the first one out on the dance floor with the whores (I'm not kidding -- he said that). But I prefer to believe that Jesus would a) have bristled at the unflattering cut of her bra, because it doesn't give enough love to the female form his father busted His ass to create, and b) resented giving a cross the same genre and acreage of real-estate one would afford some $0.50 Mardi Gras beads, in part J.C. knows how people come by Mardi Gras beads and I really don't think he dug the word "tits" or "titties," which goes to show that Jesus is/was a smart guy indeed, as I know no woman who finds "titties" adorable or charming.
Clearly Metro and the Fuggers don't hang out in the same bars. Personally I kind of liked the outfit.

Coming soon (as I get around to it) a reflective post on women, and if you're good I'll tell you why Mme Metro thinks I have lousy taste in them.

6 Comments:

At 1:27 AM, Anonymous raincoaster said...

You obviously have whoreanus taste in women's outfits anyway.

I'm glad to see you reading the Fuggers; you might learn something.

 
At 4:58 AM, Blogger Metro said...

I don't know ... I've always been partial to that bathrobe-shower-cap-and-combat-boots outfit you always wear, when it's washed.

 
At 5:48 AM, Anonymous raincoaster said...

Shower cap??? Shower caps are for pussies!

And who wears shoes?

 
At 7:57 AM, Blogger Metro said...

I do not care what you do with your shower cap madam, so long as you do not frighten the horses in the street!

And I thought by now surely you'd have replaced those remnants of white carpet you kept wrapped about your toes. It's nearly Labour Day!

 
At 4:13 PM, Anonymous raincoaster said...

Do you need them back? I thought you said Sally Struthers' people sent you some new ones.

 
At 8:54 PM, Blogger Metro said...

I might be interested, provided you can provide me with receipts from a drycleaner, an exterminator, and one of those crime scene cleanup companies.

But really, I don't need them as badly as you do. Where else are you going to find something designed to fit thirteen hairy, webbed toes?

"I never look back darling. It distracts from the now.
--Edna Mode
--From The Incredibles

 

Post a Comment

<< Home