Some Good Excuses for Showing up Places With a Shiner

1) "Ruutu threw an elbow during practise."

2) "Bad strategy. Long story, don't ask."

3) "Well I guess 400-pound gorillas DO sleep anywhere they want to."

4) "I thought our relationship was about honesty. Was I supposed to tell her it didn't make her look fat?'"

5) "So I say 'Look Mr. Austin, WWE is all about gay male repression and I can prove it'."

6) "Who knew Paris hadn't seen the tape yet?"

7) "When she said she and her roomate share everything I took her at her word."

8) "Well De Niro's stunt double is being led away by the medics and someone said 'We've gotta shoot the scene--Isn't there anyone else?'."

9) "Tyler Durden."

10) "So I said 'If you touch my fiancée again Governor, I can't be responsible for my actions'."