The Mugs, the Lugs, and the Plugs

When we last left our hero, you were trying to decide who to vote for on June 28th--a date you have doubtless circled in red on your calendar.

First, as a motivational exercise, I invite you to consider the phrase t'as gaspillé ta vote. In my particularly bastardized French this means "you wasted your vote". It's a concept I find holds less water in Western Canada.

The theory is that if you vote and your choice gets no voice in parliament, then why bother? For example consider the situation in BC, where three opposition representatives are shouted down by the over-one-hundred Liberals. Given that no measure can ever be voted down if God--sorry, I mean this yutz stands against, what was the point of having voted for anyone else? What is it, by the bye, about the West Coast that we never get the great and crazy, but are continually saddled with the mean, small, and petty.

Damn it--he should have gone out in a 100-mph-plus flaming car wreck--And he could have taken Fred Latrimo and Kathy with him and made those of us living under their area of radio activity somewhat happier listeners.

{On the other hand, if you lived in oh, say, Florida right now you'd be dealing with a situation in which not only was there reasonable cause to doubt the recount, but solid evidence that the real winner got screwed; along with 250 million other Americans--especially the eight hundred whose photos aren't shown, whose names aren't mentioned anywhere except the comics page, and whose funerals George Bush Jr. has never attended.}

But the idea that you shouldn't vote for any reason simply holds no water. Let's examine the main couple of arguments:

1) I'm not going to vote because they're all ₤µ€λin' crooks and just as bad as one another.

--Did you not notice the bit about Florida up there? Do you think President Gore would be waving his Cheney to the world just to avenge his daddy and keep his oil-industry friends and donors happy?

Believe it or not, most people in politics got in with good intentions, at least (with the current noteable exceptions of George Jr, Dick Cheney, Donnie Rumsfeld, Karl Rove. . . uh. Forget I said anything.

Yeah there are crooks in politics--and they'll be getting all their good and well-bribed friends to vote for them. So for the lova pete get off your collective and go vote!


2) Why bother--I don't like any of the poltroons who are running anyway.

At the worst--using your vote in favour of someone you dislike may prevent someone you loathe from gaining control. In my riding, we have a gentleman from the Christian Heritage Party. Why is it that parties with "heritage" in the name always sound as though they're itching to throw on the old brown shoes?--sorry, I meant old brownshirts. In any case, I ain't votin' for 'im.

3) I don't know enough about the issues--how can I vote if I'm not informed?

Oh come on! Read for the love of mike! There are people like me slaving over a hot keyboard to bring you solid info on who to vote for--hell, I'll even offer you links to the pages of the respective parties. I bet you can narrow down your choices by reading the first page of each party in your riding and deciding what you want to have happen in this country for the next ten years--that being roughly how long we can expect the next elected party to govern.

4) Oh--I forgot to register.

Shaking head in bemusement, No prob. Just check in here to see how to overcome that particular hurdle.

Okay. Have I overcome all your whiny-ass objections to actually removing your ass from the barcalounger and schlepping it all the way to the polling station?

Okay. On with the show.

Strategic Voting for Dummies

So first you should have some idea of your own positions on various issues before going out to assess the positions of the various wonks and wonkettes.

If you have slightly greater world-awareness than an oyster, you'll have gained the impression that a few things are pressing matters (known as "issues") are becoming important--in some cases despite the desperate wishes of the candidates, witness this. And this. And this.

Uh--is it worrying that while I found lots of smear on Paul Martin at CTV.ca, I found nothing when I searched either "stephen harper AND gay (rights OR marriage)" nor again when I tried "stephen harper and abortion"--a procedure about which the man is known to have strong feelings?

There are a few things I want to see in the Canada of 2004-2009:

1) Quit the whining. Legalize gay marriage now! It's disgraceful that a minority that causes no harm to the population at large is deprived of a basic equality before the law simply because a self-selected group of "the elect" decided that they aren't equal in the sight of God.

2) Quit the stalling--decriminalize marijuana! Why are we wasting precious resources fighting a drug that the majority of the population has sampled, and a significant proportion of adults use recreationally? Prohibition doesn't work, so let's, while we're about it, see a unified and progressive move on safe heroin programmes.

3) I want free trade both expanded and enforced. Free trade is good for the parties who agree to it (otherwise why are nations all over the world scrambling for deals with one another?). What I want changed is the grindingly slow dispute mechanism.

Canada's main gain from the old Free Trade Agreement was a recognized forum to which it could complain when the US went against agreed practices and agreements. Now we need to develop a fast-track dispute resolution. This came about too late for too many mills in BC. And this after some mills in Ontario had already closed.

4) I want a committment to health care. I'd prefer the full "one-size fits all" "single-tier" system. But why not allow some private clinics? As it stands, people go cross-border shopping for hip replacements in order to dodge the wait list (although I have yet to encounter anyone who had essential surgery postponed, and Canada is at the forefront of the technology). So why not keep those hard-earned dollars in Canada and plough the taxes back into the public health system?

Unfortunately, what I want to see is unlikely to happen:

I want a shift to a HEALTH system--not a sick-care system. I want doctors enabled to say "Well Bud, unless you quit smoking, get off your fat ass and run a mile a day, and knock off the ding-dongs, you may as well not book another appointment".

I'd like to see a public health triage clinic in every municipality. They'd be staffed by nurses, supervised by one or two doctors, and open twelve hours per day. A nurse and/or paramedic and/or doctor would sleep at the clinic in rotation for emergencies--sorta like a little hospital.

{While we're at it, can we come up with a way of qualifying immigrants with degrees? That way we might alleviate some of the tremendous doctor shortage.}

But they wouldn't treat emergencies--real emergencies would be forwarded to a true emergency department as fast as the gurney could roll--and there'd be no wait for a bed.

On the other hand, when Momma dragged little Jimmy in with the sniffles again, the doctor would be empowered to say "No, Mrs. Smith. There is no cure for his condition. He has a cold. It will not repsond to antibiotics, it will not respond to echinacea. It will go away after time and rest. Go home, feed him chicken soup."

5) I want my government to be dedicated to education--but not committed to holding fees artificially low. As a college student recently graduated, this will surely earn me some brickbats from the "education-is-a-right" sector. Yes, it is. So's food. The government does not provide food. It provides money if necessary, so that you can participate in the food economy, but you are expected to get the food yourself.

I took student loans, even though I was under a hefty loan from the Bank of Mum and Dad. My parents believe in education in a big way. Part of the loans were forgiven as grants--saving me about six thousand dollars on my two year program. And yes, I'm aware not everyone's parents can afford to extend such a loan. But I believe that anyone who wants an education in Canada can afford one, and will make the neccessary sacrifices and effort to obtain one.

In fact, I'd rather that the student loans became more generous, but the tuition increased to a fair market value. If public limits on charging for education are so great, why are Oxford and Cambridge crumbling while Stanford, Harvard and Yale (despite the emergence of one of its alumni as a typical frat-rat moron) are rolling in loot?

I also want a 365-day school year for elementary and high schools, such as they have in Australia, with a break of three to six weeks over both summer and winter. There also needs to be a recommittment in this country to the belief that the three R's are too limiting. Students, it is rapidly becoming evident, need art and music, and phys ed, especially phys ed (see above).

6) And oh my god do I want to see increased military spending; on both the equipment and the people. I have watched successive governments pile on the UN and overseas duty taskings in the name of public image while stripping the guts out of the Forces' budget. I am tired of living in a first-rate nation with a 115th-rate military.

We can do better for the people who put their asses on the line for our image overseas. I'm thinking of my buddy Sean, at Possum Lodge in Haiti. My ex-roomie and co-worker John in Gagetown. Gooch--who died in hospital in Ottawa when no-one would listen to him anymore, CJ Singh, who died of an aneurysm, Marc from Bosnia, and all the others; the ones who gave their lives, happiness, and health in the service of their countries--("and as I am an honest Puck" sometimes in stupidity too).


And as I am Canadian--I want to know where all the money's going to come from to do all this shit--and I'll take any three of the above over a tax cut ('specially at my current income level).

That's about it for my wish list. Soon: But who will do all this for me?

A man to read about.

The Middleman

I'm fascinated by Canada's flexibly bilingual culture of debate.