A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

16 June 2004

It's Silly Season Again

I just bought a new car, so I'm inured against schills, hucksters, hugger-muggers and matchstick men.

In the late sixties, people were asked: "Would you buy a used car from this man?" And many did.

The question facing Canadians at the moment is:

"Would you buy the same old partially-recycled load of turnips from:

  • This man?

  • This man?

  • This man?

  • Çe gar-çi?

  • This man?

  • or this, man?

  • It's intersting to note that while the Green Party leader is complaining he's been squeezed out of the leader debates (a nasty and prejudicial oversight on behalf of the organizers), he also doesn't seem to be getting the word out. Jim Harris' picture was not found by Google's image search.

    The question really, is A) Who do I want to vote for? and B) Failing anyone persuading me that they're any bloody good, who do I want to vote against?

    My riding has candidates from the Conservative, Liberal, Green, New Democratic, and Christian Heritage parties. Interestingly, the electoral district next door has one of the few Communist Party candidates. He's from Hungary--you think he'd know better. . .

    We've had fifteen years of the liberals. In Canada, we usually switch governments after that long whether we need to or not. But I want, need to be fully informed.

    Why? Well so that I can actually vote for someone I think might do the country good! As opposed to the guy who promises me a lot of good stuff. I mean, one of those groups said they'd cut taxes to US levels (which actually means an increase for the top and bottom percentage of income earners, I suspect). They have yet to say what'll take the place of that money in our social programs such as welfare and medicare.

    Worse yet, this year has brought a shift on the political landscape. Canada, trailing the US by some eight years as we always do--witness the elections that put Reagan, then Mulroney, in charge, followed by the comparatively liberal Clinton and Chretien--is seeing the rush away from the middle again.

    Nowhere is this more evident than the union of the Alliance Party (formerly the Reform Party--but say it softly) with the broken remnants of the Conservative Party (once the Tories of Upper Canada). This has resulted in a party with a fairly benign name, trusted by millions of Canadians, but whose members include a significant concentration of fruitbats.

    So this year, more than ever, we need to know who it is we intend to put into power.

    Over the next couple of days, I am going to try to put together synopses of each party's major platform planks and give reasons to vote for them or against them. Hopefully this will make my own choice a little easier.

    I intend to address only the parties in my riding plus the Marijuana party. This is because my main complaint against the MarPar in BC has been that they're a Provincial party campaigning on a federal issue.

    Spoiling my ballot will not be an option. Although it's sometimes a legitimate choice, this isn't Zimbabwe, and someone's gotta take the leadership baton.

    Likewise, not voting at all is less than unacceptable; it's a goddamn shame, and if you're one of the 40% plus of Canadians who won't bother to pry your ass out of the la-z-boy this time, then kindly move to somewhere like oh,here, here or here, where your style of participation is valued.

    So I present to you this analysis of the major running parties as a public service, in order that you can take your shapely ass out the door fully armed with the knowledge that you can't be suckered into buying a used car from just anybody.

    Of course that's assuming that we are allowed a free vote--which is something even the free-est democracy on earth needs to be watchful for. For this sort of reason.

    Related reading: In light of the fantasy of free and fair elecions in the Protectorate of Iraq, this.

    In a couple of days: The mugs and the plugs.


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