A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

30 March 2004

Fascinating Conversation

Last night I had a chance to speak to the friend who made the accusations to which I referred in my last blog.

She claimed that she had not intended any harm, that she regretted the loss of friendship with the person she pointed at, and that she'd shown the media by which she came out with her story to a number of people, who denied vociferously that they saw any trace of my other friend in it.

She also stated that she regretted the loss of the friendship that had followed the alleged crime, and that the person accused merely "saw himself in it" [that is, in her version of events] due to a "guilty conscience, I guess". She also told me that she had been very careful to mention that she had expressed doubts as to the truth of what she'd said even now, even going so far as top mention them in the story she told.

I have come to believe several things:

  • She is not convinced that what she has said is true. She said as much

  • The source of her hurt is a communications breakdown at least a year old.

  • Her recent actions were not malicious, but rather the result of a total inability to consider either whether this was a right action or what the effect on members of the group, including the accused, would be.

  • If she truly believes that she went out of her way to hide the identity of the person involved, then she suffered a serious disconnection somewhere.

  • For myself, I have come to realise that both versions of events are true for the person who lived that particular set of events. But the person who had the power to stop all of this did not take appropriate action at the appropriate time.

    How absurd and how sad. For both of them.

    I've had the odd complaint about how oblique I'm being here. It's because while I feel an urgent need to blog about my feelings on the issue, I feel no need to tell juicy details. This, to my mind, is a matter for the two people involved, the group administrative authorities, and possibly some lawyers.


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