Metroblog

A one-time school project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

17 December 2007

So Much For "57 Channels and Nothin' On"

For the uninitiated, "57 Channels and Nothin' On" is a Springsteen track from 1992.

Well today, of course, there are a few more than 57 channels available. No matter how old, how desperate for entertainment, or how jaded you are, there's something for everyone. And the number of channels continues to multiply into ever stranger niches. There's a channel for gearheads, aquarium TV, and even a Panda Channel. All trying to win their fair share of loyal followers back from the black abyss where time dies, otherwise known as the internet.

Mind you, for sheer mindless bandwidth waste--nothing, but nothing tops the 'net. There is a channel on which you can watch cheese rot. The star of that channel is called "Wedginald", and the channel has both a MySpace and FaceBook page.

There's an internet site on which you can watch people rot. And that's before the dubious delights of sites such as rotten.com (find it yourself, I don't go there anymore).

But back to television:

Pushing the boundaries of television, dignity, and good taste, a German "entrepreneur" has ventured out with a channel called "Etos". It is the first all-obituary channel.
"Everybody in Germany, or the world, should have the chance to get an obituary on the TV," says Wolf Tilmann Schneider, the media entrepreneur behind the idea.

"Every year in Germany we have 830,000 dead people. You have to multiply this by four," he says.

"So we are talking about 3.2m people who every year have something to do with a relative who has died.


Not to mention the enormous and underserved zombie population, who of course are already watching TV. Of course, it seems likely they're watching FOX. For that blend of unreal-world perspective and porn that zombies crave.

Call your cable provider today!

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